Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Arnold's Other Option

As a former body builder, failed restauranteur and aging action star, Arnold probably envisioned a future that looked a whole lot less glamourous. After you've bankrupted Planet Hollywood and recycled Terminator for the third time where does one go? Phone call for Mr. Schwarzenegger...

Hollywood's Version Of Caller Waiting
Faded Celebrities Get a Gig Greeting Fans on the Phone


If you ever find yourself wondering, perhaps while watching late-night television reruns or idly clipping your toenails, whatever happened to former Hulk Lou Ferrigno or former child actor Todd Bridges, puzzle no longer. It turns out they're waiting to hear from you.

That's right! At HollywoodIsCalling.com, a scrappy-looking two-month-old Web site, all that's required is your credit card number or electronic check in the amount of $19.95, and within seven days you can expect to hear from one bona fide, if slightly faded, celebrity wishing you Happy Halloween, get well soon, or congratulations on your retirement. The 15-second phone call works out to over a dollar a second, which is, if you think about it, a small price to pay for the privilege of knowing that, for example, hunky Lorenzo Lamas is incredibly excited that you're turning 40.

"I say happy birthday a lot," says Lamas, formerly of the television shows "Renegade" and "Falcon Crest." "I congratulate people at work for achieving employee of the month."


Gary Coleman has the stature of someone who is running for office. (Of course, so does Larry Flynt and Mary the porn "star".) Big brother Todd Bridges is just happy to have phone privileges. "Whatcha talking about, Willis?" Yeah, if I was Ahnold, I'd probably join the circus and run for governor, too.

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