California prepares to be terminated

Most Republicans are fawning over the Terminator like muscle-obsessed schoolgirls. Dubya thinks he’ll be a good governor. The reason for Bush’s expertise on such matters?-- "You know, I'm a follower of American politics.” (I know I kid from time-to-time, but this is a real quote.)

But what if he announced as a Democrat? Can you imagine the critique from the Right?

“Another Hollywood type who is out-of-touch with mainstream American values thinks making sadistic movies has somehow prepared him to oversee the world’s fifth largest economy? He’s not ready to be dog catcher in Mayberry.”

“He’s a horrible role model for children. The violence, the steroids, the womanizing. The Democrats should be ashamed to have him. Hell, he even talks funny. Uh, don't tell him I said that, okay?”

No, all the print is not good.

But a rather less flattering portrait emerges in "Arnold," a decidedly unauthorized 1990 biography. Among other unsavory details, the book recounts that Schwarzenegger's late father, Gustav, was a member of the Nazi Party. The work, by journalist Wendy Leigh, also includes detailed allegations of womanizing, cruel practical jokes, extensive use of steroids in his bodybuilding days and suggestions that the actor made racist and anti-Semitic remarks as a young man. Schwarzenegger denounced the book as trash. But James Willwerth, a Time correspondent who profiled Schwarzenegger for the magazine, told the Columbia Journalism Review that he checked Leigh's research, using her 34 pages of source notes as a guide, and considered her work "well reported. My nose told me that the book was on target."

Although not self evident by his tendency to speak in sound bites, Arnold is a deep and thoughtful man who arrived at his political philosophy after much thought and soul-searching:

[T]he year he arrived in America. He had a friend translate the speeches of Democratic candidate Hubert Humphrey and Republican Richard Nixon.

Humphrey talked about protectionism and more government planning, the actor said, which "sounded a lot like socialism in Austria." Nixon talked about "less government, lower taxes, the free market, international trade and a strong military."

"After the translator finished, I realized: Yes! I am a Republican," Schwarzenegger said. "I pretty much thought it was as simple as the movies: The Republicans were the good guys, and the Democrats were the bad guys."

Okay, maybe he is the next Ronald Reagan.

How about this one:

The actor said he wanted more books in schools and "affordable day care. We want to make sure the older folks have their care that they need. That everything has to be provided for the people."

He’s a damn Socialist parading as a Republican!

On the environment, Schwarzenegger already is getting criticized for driving enormous gas-guzzling SUVs such as the Hummer. He believes in "reasonable" environmental regulations, according to some records, but he declined to answer a question Thursday about his environmental positions, waving it off with: "I will fight for the environment. Nothing to worry about."

Smog? Fuggetaboutit! Arnold’s gonna fight for clean air! He'll kick smog's smug ass in no time!

What about gays, Arnold?

"When it comes to sex, I don't give a s-- what anyone's trip is."

Somebody keep a defibrillator near Pat Robertson. (Although, if he is in proximity of certain Supreme Court justices, he'd rather take his chances than risk having it "misused."

On gay rights, Schwarzenegger supposedly is supportive of adoptions by same- sex couples, another issue conservatives may find distasteful. He's been particularly outspoken about homosexuality, telling Cosmopolitan magazine: "I have no sexual standards in my head that say this is good or this is bad. 'Homosexual' -- that only means to me that he enjoys sex with a man and I enjoy sex with a woman. It's all legitimate to me."

All legitimate? Rick Santorum has some questions about man on dog for you, Mr. Candidate.

Cloning?

"At the moment, they're dealing with it by putting the religious spin on it. I understand that; there are some people who are religiously fanatic, that feel uncomfortable with it. But I think that's also a mistake.

Secular Humanist!

That Arnold is out-of-step with today’s Republican party is not lost on everyone:

Louis Sheldon, chairman of the Traditional Values Coalition, said the actor "would be a darker villain than any he has faced in his movies. . . . It's hard to imagine a worse governor than Gray Davis, but Mr. Schwarzenegger would be it."

Next project already in "pre-production":

Terminator IV: California bites it-- Revenge of the Recall