Monday, August 18, 2003

“The worst fear of millions of Americans: Hillary plans a grand political coup”

From those crazy kids at Newsmax, and I do mean crazy, you can order Hillary’s Scheme and be the first wacko on your block to be able to wow your friends with inside knowledge on Hillary’s plan to overthrow the United States government. That’s right, the title of this piece is taken directly from Newsmax’s ad for this fine example of investigative journalism. The target audience? People who love to hate:

If you love to hate Hillary, or are just curious about one of America’s most powerful woman, there’s plenty in this book to make your blood boil.

Amend that—people who love to hate and make their blood boil.

Promised tidbits include:

* Why Hillary is running in 2004, and not 2008
* Hillary’s behind-the-scenes effort to torpedo Al Gore that forced him to withdraw from the 2004 race
* Hillary’s use of secret investigators to dig up dirt and smear her opponents (eds. Note: This book digs up the dirt on Hillary’s digging up dirt—how tricky!)
* The critical mistake the Bush White House made, paving the way for Hillary’s presidential quest
* A top Hillary aide reveals her private side and her frequent violent rages
* the late Barbara Olson’s discovery that Hillary, and not Bill, took care of "the dirty stuff."
* Dick Morris’ shocking revelation of an anti-Semitic slur Hillary made to him
* Hillary’s never-before-revealed explanation she made directly to Limbacher about her husband’s failure to extradite bin Laden.
* New details about her husband’s sex scandals – scandals that gave her tremendous power and made her a de facto president

What? Hillary has already been President? And she wants more? No other book will tell you that Hillary, not Dubya, was actually the 43rd President (Unless you count Mrs. Wilson, in which case Hillary was #44, Dubya is #45 and Hillary wants to be #46).

So who wrote it? Carl Limbacher. Carl who?

Limbacher is a top editor at and has broken story after story on the Clintons. You’ve seen him on CNN, Fox News and MSNBC.

That’s where I’ve seen him! Of course, that’s where I have also seen Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and B1 Bob Dornan, and he’s certifiable. Don’t believe Newsmax? How about the man whose talent is on loan from God? (Although, isn't that all of us, really?)

Rush Limbaugh has praised this new book, saying Hillary’s Scheme reveals “There’s no question Hillary Clinton wants to be president. . . . Hillary’s Scheme makes that prospect amply clear.”

Damn, he’s smart. Hillary wants to be President! Here’s the proof! And all for only $22.50! (Lists for $27.50)

Well, I know this makes my blood boil, and I don’t even like feeling that way. This is what the Conservative movement has become. And this sales pitch actually works on other humans. This is the challenge of our American democracy. Motivated yet?

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