Democratic Contenders Enter into Pact

(PS) Tonight's Democratic debate was repeatedly interrupted with outbursts by supporters of imprisoned perpetual presidential candidate Lyndon LaRouche.

Inside sources tell us here at PrometheusSpeaks that immediately after tonight's debate, the Democratic contenders came together in a rare show of unity and entered a pact promising that regardless of who won the nomination, Lyndon LaRouche would not be offered the VP slot.

"I don't even care if he can demonstrate that his father was a millworker," said John Edwards, "There's no way he's on the ticket after tonight."

Sen. John Kerry said, "Although we have all reached the same conclusion on this matter, I'm the only candidate who considered it from the perspective of someone who has served in combat."

"America incarcerates far too many of its citizens," said Rev. Al Sharpton, "But that dude ain't going no where after this. Presidential pardon, my ass!"

There was some controversy when Gov. Howard Dean said, "A liberal in the federal penitentiary is like a conservative in Vermont."

Asked to respond, Sen. Joe Lieberman said, "I have no idea what that means, unless it has to do with the theft of the 2000 election, but once I figure it out, I fully intend to vigorously disagree with Gov. Dean." Joe Trippi quickly asserted that Gov. Dean did not mean to imply that a disporporionate number of ex-cons reside in Vermont, but did mean to suggest that neo-cons were particularly unwelcome.

Lyndon LaRouche could not immediately be reached for comment, but his supporters have interrupted the posting of this story six times with loud, obnoxious prank calls.