Monday, September 01, 2003

Ahnold Clarifies his Hypocrisy

As a pot smoking, gang banging, pro-choice, pro-gun control, pro-medicinal mary jane, “Republican”, many have questioned Ahnold’s conservative credentials. He cleared that all up today by displaying the touchstone of Republicanism: Hypocrisy. For good measure it involved favoring the moneyed classes over the working stiff-- on Labor Day, no less! Doubters, be damned.

Ahnold’s lesson on democracy:

Labor money is tainted special interest money. Republican contributing companies that employ labor are just concerned citizens, so-to-speak, supporting the democratic process.

Meanwhile, Republican challenger Arnold Schwarzenegger wowed excited crowds under sweltering heat at the California State Fair but struggled to explain his reversal on a pledge not to seek campaign donations in his run for governor.

"What we have to do is get rid of an administration that is in the pocket of all the special interests," the action star and former bodybuilder said as sweat poured down his neck under an unrelenting midday sun in Sacramento.

"The contributions come in, the favors go out and the people suffer because of it," he said.


"I will never take money from the special interests and the Indian gaming or from the unions or anything like that," he said as thrill seekers tethered on a bungee cord jumped from atop a nearby crane.

"I get donations from business and from individuals."

Schwarzenegger did not explain how a politician would be less obliged to contributing business interests than to other interested contributors.

Arnold enjoyed the State Fair atmosphere so much, he said if the election didn’t work out he was thinking of joining a traveling carnival as a geriatric muscleman.

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