Monday, July 14, 2003

Facing Problems? Just move on.

Anybody out there facing a pending IRS audit because your tax returns simply aren't credible? Call up the IRS and tell them you "consider the matter closed." Tell them you've "moved on, and think, frankly much of the country has moved on as well." A nifty little trick. Thanks, Dubya and Ari, for the tip! If we had only known this in the '90's we could have saved about 80 million on special prosecutors. Imagine:

Reporter: "Mr. President, I have a question about Travelgate."

Clinton: "I've moved on and so should you."

Reporter: "Mr. President, perhaps you could clear up a few matters regarding Paula Jones."

Clinton: "I consider the matter closed."

Reporter: "Mr. President, do you think the third investigation into the death of your good friend Vince Foster will reveal any startling new insights?"

Clinton: "Moved on regarding that, too."

Reporter: "Don't you think the American people deserve to know whether there were improprieties regarding a 1980's land deal on which you lost money?"

Clinton: "Frankly, the country has moved past that issue."

Damn, that would have been nice.

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