Thursday, June 26, 2003

The RNC Makes it Simple

Those ever helpful Republicans at the RNC have taken it upon themselves to sort out the Democratic field for voters in way that keeps it simple:

Who is Howard Dean?
An Ultra-Liberal On Social Issues Who Is Out Of The Mainstream And Wrong For America.

Who is John Edwards?
An Unaccomplished Liberal In Moderate Clothing And A Friend To His Fellow Personal Injury Trial Lawyers.

Who Is Dick Gephardt?
An Ineffective Leader And Traditional Liberal Democrat Who Is The "Keeper Of The Liberal Flame For Organized Labor And Party Activists."

Who Is Bob Graham?
A Tax-And-Spend Liberal In Moderate's Clothing

Who Is John Kerry?
A Massachusetts Liberal Out Of Touch With America

Who is Dennis Kucinich?
A Flip-Flopping Liberal Extremist

Who Is Joe Lieberman?
"The Lieberman persona is so inventive, has been so creative, has been so gymnastic in its many shapes and forms, that only he can even begin to explain it. . . . Many politicians look a bit oily, a bit uncomfortable moving across and around the political spectrum, but our Joe looks as comfortable as if he's merely changing clothes."

Who is Carol Mosely Braun?
A Controversial Liberal Who Was Rejected By Her Own State

Who is Al Sharpton?
A Liberal Democrat Out Of Touch With America

There it is, all nice and neat. Not real creative, but you’ve got to admire their ability to stay on message. To recap: we have an ultra, an unaccomplished, a traditional, a tax-and-spend, a Massachusetts, a flip-flopping, and a controversial. They apparently ran out of modifiers before getting to Sharpton. In fact, they recycled Kerry’s “out of touch with America.” Lieberman was the only Dem not to be called a liberal. Come to think of it, if you read his description the short-hand version could be that he is creative, athletic and comfortable in his own skin. Who’d Joe pay off to get such a good review?

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