Finally, something the American people can understand-- gossip

Shady Iraqi exiles, leaked CIA identities, Presidential briefing memos, moronic geopolitical ideology-- not just complicated, but also deadly dull! At least to a public consumed by Michael, Koby, Scott and Lacy. But don't fear! Kitty Kelly to the rescue with what promises to be first class dirt:

Bush dynasty ex-wife set to spill the beans

By Steve Bloomfield and Sophie Goodchild

30 May 2004

A new book on the Bush dynastyis set for release just six weeks before November's knife-edge presidential election. The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty by Kitty Kelley will have an initial print run of 500,000, and the main source is believed to be Sharon Bush, the ex-wife of Neil, President George W Bush's wayward brother.
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The book could be the most damaging yet for the President, with the publishers, Random House, promising it will "cause controversy".

Relax-- they're professionals

Apparently Iraqi prisoner abuse isn't the only issue Rumsfeld's Defense Department has its collective head up its collective ass about. Job qualifications? We don't consider it an issue.

Assistant Secretary of Defense Charles Abell has a master's from Columbus University, a diploma mill Louisiana shut down. Deputy Assistant Secretary Patricia Walker lists among her degrees, a bachelor's from Pacific Western, a diploma mill banned in Oregon and under investigation in Hawaii.

CBS News requested interviews with both officials. The Pentagon turned us down, saying, "We don't consider it an issue."

But using such a degree is a crime in some states. Alan Contreras cracks down on diploma mills for Oregon, a state that's taken the lead on this issue.

"You don't want somebody with a fake degree working in Homeland Security," says Contreras. "You don't want somebody with a fake degree teaching your children or designing your bridges."

But we found employees with diploma mill degrees at the new Transportation Security Administration, the Defense Intelligence Agency and the Departments of Treasury and Education, where Rene Drouin sits on an advisory committee. He has degrees from two diploma mills including Kensington University.

Kensington was forced out of business by officials in California and Hawaii. Another Kensington alum, Florida State Rep. Jennifer Carroll, just stepped down from the National Commission on Presidential Scholars.